"Now to Him who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand without blemish in the presence of His glory with rejoicing, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Jude 24,25/NRS).
If you've ever watched a hamster in a cage, you know how cute those little guys can be. They're soft, cuddly and one of the most popular pets with children. One of their favorite antics is to run on a kind of treadmill, especially at night. They scurry at top speed, sometimes literally flying out of these exercise wheels.
Whenever I watch them, I can't help but think of the phrase, "spinning your wheels." Because even though the hamsters put in tremendous effort, they never get anywhere. They never arrive at the finish line. I wish I knew what a hamster thinks when he's running like that. Does he feel trapped? Does he get discouraged? Does he ever think, "What's the use?"
There have been times when I thought like that. I used to battle with my temper almost on a daily basis. The littlest things would set me off and I'd end up yelling and screaming at someone. But then, I began reading the Bible for the first time and discovered how horrible my anger was. I remember reading the book of James over and over again. But I found no hope in reading, "No man can tame the tongue; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:8). I already knew that. There was nothing I could do to change my temper! I tried gritting my teeth, counting to ten, praying for victory! But nothing worked.
I felt like a little hamster trapped on a treadmill. Running and running but getting nowhere. I'd snap and blow up at someone--even my boyfriend who was patience itself. So I'd cry out to God, begging for forgiveness and pleading for victory. But it wasn't long before I fell down again, flat on my face, blowing up again. I was trapped in a cycle of doing the same horrible things over and over. Every day was a battle I couldn't win. And no one knew how to help me. I felt like the apostle Paul who said, "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:24)
I was a baby Christian in those days and knew little about the Bible. It literally took me years before I discovered God's way out. Before then, I thought if I could only lick this problem, I'd be on the straight and narrow. Everything would be right between Jesus and me. And perhaps, I'd be a strong Christian with a living testimony that would lead souls to God. But I didn't realize how my temper was only a symptom of a deeper problem.
I was a ruled by my emotions because I only had a natural heart. I loved Jesus and I'd taken some steps toward Him. But I hadn't experienced the new birth in my life. My way of thinking had changed. I knew a whole lot more about the Bible than I ever had before. But the same person was still sitting on my heart's throne. I didn't realize it for many years, but Jesus wasn't Lord of my life. I was. And my life clearly showed it.
How could I exchange my heart for a new one? How could I be born again? I didn't know the verse in 1 Peter 1:23, that says "You have been born again, not of perishable but of imperishable seed, through the living and enduring Word of God." I didn't know by experience that the Bible had power in itself to give me new life! I had the answer at my fingertips all the time, but I didn't know it! I began my day with God, but it was like when you're literally starving and you're only got a cracker to nibble on. I needed more of Jesus than that!
So I began submerging myself in the Bible. I was a young mom at this time, with three active children, only about a year apart. My hours were jam packed with cleaning and cooking, taking care of farm animals and a big garden, not to mention everything I did at church. Life was a whirlwind and I often felt like a hamster on a treadmill. But every available minute that I could spare, I spent with God. I devoured the gospels, one at a time. I saturated myself in the Lord's promises. It's almost like my Bible was hung around my neck. It went everywhere with me. And even when my hands were busy, I was thinking of God's Word and His incredible love for me.
The Bible became my lifeline to Jesus. And though I can't pinpoint the day when the miracle happened, I remember my excitement when I realized I went through a day without losing my temper. It didn't happen automatically. But as I gave myself to Jesus every day and submerged myself in His Word, I had greater strength to say no to the devil. The temptations were still there, just as large and pressing as ever. But I knew Jesus was with me. And what's even better, I knew I was with Jesus. We were working together and I was learning how to abide in Christ. When temptations came knocking, I turned away from them and Christ poured in His power. He was Lord. I was His servant and I longed to do anything for Him!
I was quicker at turning to Jesus for help and it was easier to say, "not my will, but Yours be done." It was easier to resist the devil. And I found I didn't need to be in charge of my life anymore. I didn't want the world pushing Jesus out of my day. I wanted to be with Him every possible minute. And the voice of His Spirit was as clear and plain to me as the voice of my husband or my children. God had changed my heart through His Word. By reading it, thinking it, and living it by the power of God's grace, my life was changed from the inside out. For Jesus took away my natural heart and replaced it with His own. His own loving heart. And I began to see victory in my life.
If you're struggling like I was and feel like a hamster in a cage, come to Jesus just as you are. Give him your natural heart and ask Him to give you a new one. Saturate your mind in God's Word, especially in the story of our Savior. Let His love wash over you and cleanse you deep within. Talk to Him as you go through your day--driving to work or washing the dishes. Keep the Lord always before you. And you'll experience life outside the hamster cage. You'll discover victory in the name of Jesus and through the power of His Word!
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